A new life

Well since we didn’t have any reading this week, I’m going to write about what’s on my mind. I’ve spent the last 4.5 years as a military wife. This has it’s pro’s and con’s. The pro’s are medical is paid for no matter what, I have a roof over my head with no additional bills except what I accumulate and a steady paycheck. I have worked most of the time we’ve been in and we have saved for a rainy day. I think that rainy day may be coming. We are going to be getting out of the military with neither one of us finished with school and a new daughter in tow. To say the least, I sit up almost every night worrying if we’ll make it comfortablely. I wish I could have more reassurance. I have the reassurance that God will provide what I need but I still worry. Why? Because I’m not in control and that makes me nervous. We don’t have jobs lined up or and idea of where to work. It seems as if my husband isn’t that worried. When we do talk about it, I get a “We’ll be fine, God will provide.”
I’m a nervous wreck all the time in my brain. It goes non stop of what we will do and how we will achieve it. Another thing that is extremely hard for me is that I’m not taking into consideration what God’s will is. What does He want me to do? It’s like I ask but I don’t get the answer. Maybe it’s that I’m not listening or even know how to listen. I just wish I knew what was best for me and what God wants me to do so I’m not pulling my hair out trying to figure it out. Or worse, listening to the voice that is not the one I should be listening too. Make sense?